First time someone asked me to play something, I froze. Could play fine alone. The moment someone was listening, my hands forgot how hands work. Mistakes everywhere. Stopped three times. Wanted the floor to swallow me.
Performance anxiety is real and doesn't just go away. But it gets manageable. Here's what helped.
Practice performing, not just playing. Playing alone and playing for others are different skills. You have to practice the "for others" part specifically. Start small – record yourself (that's performing for future you). Then play for one person you trust. Build up gradually.
Know your piece cold. If you're 90% solid alone, you'll be 70% solid with an audience. Nerves eat about 20% of your ability. Prepare to be over-prepared. The piece should feel easy before you perform it.
Mistakes happen. Accept this before you start. Even professionals mess up. The skill isn't never making mistakes – it's recovering smoothly when you do. Practice recovering. Intentionally make a mistake in practice and continue as if nothing happened.
Breathe. Literally. Take three deep breaths before starting. Nervous breathing is shallow. Deep breaths activate calming physiology. Simple but works.
Start with the easiest piece you know. Your first performances shouldn't be your most challenging repertoire. Play something you could do in your sleep. Build confidence with wins.
The audience wants you to succeed. This reframe helped me a lot. Nobody's hoping you fail. They're hoping to enjoy music. They're on your side.
Play for low-stakes audiences first. Family. Close friends. Other beginners. Not a recital. Not a party with 30 people. Graduate difficulty of audience along with difficulty of repertoire.
After the first minute, it gets easier. The hardest part is starting. Once you're in the music, focus shifts from anxiety to playing. Get through the first minute and you'll probably be fine.
It gets better with repetition. My tenth time playing for others was way less terrifying than my first. Exposure therapy works. You just have to keep doing it.
For building the general confidence to get here, see staying motivated. For making sure your pieces are solid enough, check out building a practice routine.